Navigating a Whackadoodle World: Episode 70, The Power of Persuasion and Influence, or How the stories we share matter.
A Whackadoodle lesson about how stories shape our lives, including a summary of the The Cynicism Trap and how to climb out of it.
“So is this supposed to be a review, a critique, or a summary?” Her teacher had given her what should have been a simple assignment, ‘Watch this video called The Cynicism Trap,’ then write an essay. Except it wasn’t turning out to be simple because she simply didn’t know where to start. “Is it a review, a critique, or a summary?” I repeated.
She looked at me blankly, “I’m not sure. The teacher just said to write an essay about its contents. I think she just wants proof that we watched it.”
“Okay, fine,” I nodded patiently. “That being said, you’ll still need to decide if you’re writing a summary, a critique, or a review.”
“What’s the difference again?”
“A summary just tells people what’s in the piece. A review tells people if you think the piece is worth watching, or a waste of their time. A critique is like a review except it tends to be a bit more,” I paused to think of the word.
“Boring?” she threw in with a snort.
“Academic,” I continued, with a semi-stern look at her. “Critiques should contain a detailed analysis or evaluation of something, often highlighting its strengths and weaknesses, while reviews typically just express an opinion or judgment.”
She grinned slyly, “Like I said, boring.”
I gave her a nice eye roll in response before asking, “So which is it to be?”
“Let me think.”
Always the impatient one, I didn’t wait, “Since all three contain at least a partial a summary, why don’t we just start with that while you’re thinking. You could begin with something like, ‘In his 2021 Ted Talk entitled How to Escape the Cynicism Trap, Psychologist Jamil Zaki suggests…warns…presents…what?”
She glanced down at her notes, “He talks about how we’re living through what he calls a ‘cynicism epidemic’ where seventy percent of the people surveyed feel that humanity is basically greedy, selfish, and dishonest. He says that back in 1972, forty-five percent of people thought that others could be trusted, but by 2018, that percentage had dropped to only thirty percent. He also says that people mistakenly believe that ‘cynicism is the price of being right’ because cynical people see the world as it really is, while optimists tend to be more naive. He calls that belief a myth reinforced by popular culture.”
“Why mistakenly?” I prompted.
“Well,” she started chewing the tip of her pencil. “He mentions a bunch behavioral studies that show how cynics actually tend to earn less money than optimists; they lose in negotiations more often; they don’t do as well in cognitive tests, and they are bad at spotting liars because they just assume that everyone lies, so they can’t spot a real liar when they see one. He claims that cynics are trapped in a kind of self-fulfilling prophesy because ‘they tell a story full of villains and then they end up living in it.’”
“And do you agree with his claim?”
“Well, it’s kind of like Guidepost Two isn’t it?” she looked at me with a kind of quizzical stare. “You know, ‘You see danger rapids ahead, while I see an exciting ride. We all see the river not as it is, but how we believe it to be.’”
“And how would you explain that principle to someone who’s not been introduced to the guideposts?”
“I would quote that line in your book, ‘Beliefs are the foundation beneath every action people take and therefore the creator of the world they encounter.’”
“And if they still didn’t understand?” I kept prompting, wanting her to put the concept into her own words.
“Well,” her pencil was getting a good work out between her teeth. “I suppose that I would give examples of how our beliefs impact out actions and assumptions, and because of that, influence how we interact with the world and people around us. It’s like, if you treat everyone like they’re out to get you, you won’t be the kind of person generous people want to be around. In fact, your actions might even cause them to feel less generous around you. Isn’t that right?”
“Sounds about right,” I nodded. “So does this professor offer any incite into how to get out of the cynicism trap?”
Her face screwed up into a sour expression, as if she had tasted a lemon. “That’s where it gets kind of, I don’t know, maybe wishy-washy?”
“How so, wishy-washy?” I felt my face mirroring hers.
“Well, he talks a lot about how when a culture shares only cynical stories, it gets stuck in a kind of psychological quicksand, so we have to change the stories we tell each other if we want to find solid ground. He says that ‘it’s hard to change a broken system if you think it’s a mirror reflecting our broken nature;’ and that we should take control of the stories we tell ourselves. That we can stay skeptical and demand evidence before we believe in people, but we should remain hopeful that people can change for the better; that we should actively look for the good that people can and are doing every day, or something like that.”
“So how is that wishy-washy?”
“I just don’t see how telling optimistic stories will change anything.”
“You don’t think that the stories we tell each other influence how we feel and act towards one another? You think advertisers spend billions every year on their little thirty second advertisements just for fun, or do the stories those ads tell perhaps influence people’s behavior? And all those images of glamorous women living a life of luxury, you think those little stories don’t influence how women feel about their own self-image? And what about all the fairy tale Hollywood endings, you don’t think they impact how people view love? Think about how the story of George Floyd sparked a movement.”
“Well, when you put it like that,” she admitted grudgingly.
“Okay,” I rubbed my hands together, “So does this psychologist dude offer any other advice regarding getting out of this trap?”
“Not really, he does mention searching out and supporting people who are attempting to get out of the trap, so that we can all ‘build pockets of collective optimism where people can find solidarity and mutual aid,’ whatever that means. But mostly he suggests that we should start by seeing cynicism for what it is, not some natural result of understanding how the world works, but as a kind of psychological quicksand that will suck us down if we don’t keep fighting to believe in people.”
“Hum, sounds good, and sounds like you might have the makings of a summary.”
“Maybe,” she still didn’t sound completely sure of herself. “What do you suppose he means by taking control of our stories?”
“I think he means that we needs to become more aware of the many stories presented to us every day. Some of those stories pull us deeper into this cynical quicksand, while others pull us onto firmer ground where we can start believing in people again.”
“So we need to listen to only positive stories?”
“Lord no, that would be like sticking your head down in the quicksand. No, we have to stay informed so that we can take action where we can.”
“What kind of action?”
“Actions that helps us build systems that reward the good in people instead of the greed. We can’t just go around ignoring our problems and hoping things will improve. We can’t act like what’s happening out there is normal. No, we need stories that let us know what’s happening and encourage us to move in more positive directions.”
“Like what?”
“Okay, like with the SAVE America Act, or with what’s happening with Ukraine and Putin and NATO. We have to know about those things, so we can get out there and join the people who are saying, “Heck no, not on my watch. We’re not going to allow laws to pass that make it harder for women to vote. We are not going to join the Republicans in turning our backs on Ukraine and Europe. We’re not going to allow Trump’s Cabinet to run a dump truck through our system of checks and balances. We will not treat Trump like a normal president because we’re not going to take back Panama, turn Gaza in a resort town, call the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America, make Canada the fiftieth state, or any other such nonsense.”
“Is he really trying to do that stuff?” she asked carefully.
Ignoring her question, I continued. “That being said, we also can’t listen to stories that claim all politicians are corrupt, so let’s throw in the towel. Not if we’re going to reach out to those politicians with the stories that matter to us, and let them know that we will continue to fight for them, so long as they keep fighting for us. Am I making any sense?”
“I think you’re saying that we need to take our stories from the right sources, and in the right proportion. Like with a diet, you can’t stop eating completely, but you have to eat the right stuff.”
“I’m also saying that you need to start telling your own stories and not just rely on others.”
“How so?”
“Well, in the self-talk that’s going through your mind each day. You need to use that self-talk to remind yourself that cynicism isn’t the answer, it’s part of the problem. And when you see people caught up in the cynicism trap, you can use your own stories to help pull them up a bit. Remind them of the people fighting the good fight, and offer them solutions where they only see problems.”
“What if you’re the one who sees only problems?” she asked glumly.
“Well then you have to go looking for the people who can still give you hope. Let them start to pull you out of the trap.”
“I wouldn’t know where to start.”
“Start by asking your friends. Start by asking me. I’ve been getting good hard news from The Contrarian lately to keep me informed. When I need an optimism boost, I go for websites like Choosedemocracy.us; they have an excellent article on How to Stay Grounded; it’s all about how to reach out and stay in the game. Sites like those are telling the stories that we need to retell. The important thing is to not just sit there sinking into the quicksand. You’ve got to go out and take some action that proves to yourself that your actions still matter, and that there is still goodness out there. Goodness worth fighting for.”
“Can I steal some of that for my essay?” she asked with a teasing grin.
“Only if you give me a proper footnote,” I teased back, knowing that she would avoid any footnotes, and so be forced to use her own words.