Navigating a Whackadoodle World: Episode 33, or You can't change what you don’t notice.
A Whackadoodle lesson about The Power of Focus and Attention in which my student admits that she is overwhelmed, and agrees to practice silence.
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“I’m not sure if I like polls,” she said unexpectedly during one of our lessons.
“What kind of poles do you mean?” I asked. “Polish Pols, telephone poles, magnetic poles, utility poles?
“Check the spelling, and you won’t ask silly questions,” she informed me dryly.
I looked over her shoulder and read her words, “Ah, you mean research polls, political polls, exit polls, opinion polls, marketing polls. What don’t you like about them?”
“I don’t like how they steer you to one or two choices and don’t let you give a full answer. I don’t think they ever really get the full picture.”
“Humm,” I found myself nodding. “I suppose it depends on who is asking the questions, what questions they are asking, when they are asking them, why they are asking them, how they are asking them, and most importantly where they are asking them.”
“Why most importantly where?”
“Because, in my opinion, any pole conducted on the Internet is pretty much bogus. There is no way to track who even sees the poll, let alone who decides to take it. You could never get the random sample necessary for a scientifically valid result. Of course the email polls that legitimate pollsters use are bit better. In those they can at least keep a record of who they were sent to, as well as who replies. But those polls that randomly pop up online are pretty much useless,” I looked over at her. She seemed genuinely concerned about something. “You know, the Pew Research Institute has a really good free email course on polling. You might want to sign up.”
“I’ll look into it,” she said, but I could tell she was still distracted.
“What’s really got you so bothered?” I asked.
“This is the week we are supposed to focus on focus,” she admitted eventually. “I have begun to notice how often my focus gets distracted.”
“Noticing is the first step,” I reminded her.
“Really?” she looked kind of hopeful.
“Absolutely,” I assured her. “You can’t change what you don’t notice.”
“So now I have to decide if I want to change,” she mumbled glumly.
“Why not think of it as growing rather than changing?” I suggested.
“What’s the difference?”
“Changing suggests work, while growing suggest something that happens naturally with the proper nutrients.”
“You are so weird.”
“Yeah,” I wrinkled my nose for her. “But a lovely kind of weird.”
We sat watching each other for a while, until she finally asked, “What nutrients are you talking about?”
“Nutrients that help you build focus,” I offered. “According to some reports I’ve read, but not confirmed, most humans have an average attention span of twenty seconds. However there are many exercises that help people improve their focus.”
“That sounds like work.” she accused.
“I suppose it does,” I agreed.
“Okay fine,” she said. “What are the exercises?”
“Meditation, silence, nonjudgement, discipline, listening, and creating MASTERed goals that help you stay focused on your own personal goals.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Those are exercise from your first book,” she accused.
“Of course they are. How many times do you want me to repeat myself?”
“So do you want me to explain them?”
“Only if you want to.”
“Meditation,” she began as if by rote. “The state of quieting your mind so that you can see that you are not just your thoughts. You are in fact the thinker of your thoughts.”
“Nice beginning,” I felt myself smile.
“Silence,” she continued. “Practice silence, so you know can hear yourself think. Practice nonjudgement, so you no longer think about judging yourself or others. Practice a discipline, any discipline: dance, martial arts, athletics, yoga, music, science, gardening, writing, sculpting, painting. All disciplines improve ones focus.”
Oh my goodness, she had been paying attention.
I listened as she went on, “Reflective listening help me to exercise my focus, as well as understand myself and others. It also makes me the most popular person in town. Finally, MASTERing my goals gives me measurable, accountable, specific, timely, exciting, and realistic goals to work towards, so I won’t get so easily distracted.” She sat with folded arms, waiting for me to comment.
“So which one has got you buggered,” I asked at last.
“Probably the last one,” she admitted. “I really don’t know what I want to do.”
“Guess that it’s good that the next guidepost is about strategy and figuring out what you want to do. In the meantime, take a deep breath, and listen for the spaces between your thoughts. The person you really are; not the person that people are telling you that you ought to be.”
“Meditation and silence, right?”
“Right.”